|
|
Note: Non of the abuse on this page, or on any links from this page, is meant to offend or upset*. Just thought I'd tell you so I don't get everyone whinging at me because I said something about them they didn't want everyone else to know.
*except Paul Waters & his v-ogue underage girlfriend Jade. They're sinners.
Some of my v-ogue mates at Truro College.
Dan (brother)
Carl (little vudger)
Ok, about me, your host, Joe Watson:
1) D'oh.
2) Ummm..... guns, I love guns, death and sado-masochism (well, bondage, leather, handcuffs and so-on).
3) Dreamcasts rip. I proudly own the greatest console known to man. Apart from the Gaystation 2. (Yes, I hate Sony 'cause they are a rip-off - they just sell you lame gimmicks, don't they, you dumb-ass suckers!)
4) There is only one thing in my life that I really care about: my fat cat, Kitty. And my Dreamcast (sad, I know, but it is fucking good).
5) I'm into R/C cars as a hobby at the moment. I've just shelled out £210 on the fastest car in the world (well, not quite, but it is a nippy little bitch): a Mardave Cobra Competition model. If you are into buying an R/C car, get this one - it is hard as nails and VERY cheap. Check out Modelsport if it is your type of hobby.
6) Drugs aren't bad, M'kay! However, as you may see from the descriptions of my mates below who all smoke a nice bit of dirt-bar, I am not the keenest of smokers. Yeah I'll get a bit wasted, but I only really do it in holidays when I have nothing on (like shooting or flying).
7) Sex is the best, so you virgins should SORT IT OUT AND GET LAID!!
8) I don't want to tell you lot what I look like so you can't car-bomb* me or anything if I offend you too much.
9) *I don't own a car, yet, so you lot are safe to walk the pavements (sidewalks, for you Americans) for now...
My step brother, Daniel von Lintzgy:
1) He loves computers (knows shit-loads about them), and turd (for wanking).
2) Even though he's only been living in our house since September 1999, I've got to know him & he's an alright friend.
3) He likes to smoke out, which is cool.
4) His taste in music is the same as his wanking preferences.
5) Nicknames: Von, Starvin marvin, Undernourished Dan, Scitzo, Von the scitzophrenic.
6) I think you can pretty much guess what he looks like.
7) Oh yeah, after leaving his old six-form college in Wadebridge because of troubles in his life, he now comes to one of the greatest colleges in the world, home to some of the nicest punanny me 'as ever laid me eyes on.
8) He's a vudger. Sometimes.
2) Even though he lives in Grampound, he has another life as a Monkey in St. Austell, drinking cider and getting into fights along with the rest of his Monkey mates. Wiggas.
3) He's a good laugh, but can be v-ogue at times. Only when he pisses me off though. Nah, he's a good mate and he's moving house soon, which will be a shame coz we've been mates for ages.
4) Likes to smoke a bit of gear. And he likes to stitch Danny up to get him v wasted. Neee
5) Owns a PC, on which he faff-arses around, emptying the recyclebin and so-on. He knows it annoys me, DON'T YOU BEN, YOU VUDGER!
1) Lazy as fuck. Not fat and lazy, he just can never be arsed to do much.
2) Quite quiet, unless he loses at Tony Hawke or insults Ben/Danny.
3) Smokes quite a bit of gear (and gets some of the best bud), which is nice.
4) Good just to talk to, because he just listens.
5) Trustworthy (sometimes) and reliable (if a little slow*).
6) *Not backward, just can never be arsed to do anything quickly, exept run from the bowlers/police.
7) Has a rad taste in music (sometimes). He likes Chemical Brothers, Underworld, Orbital & @440. But not Cypress Hill. Oh well, they're not all perfect friends.
8) Chicken hat. (Don't worry, it's just a hat that his aunt made for him. It's like a camoflaged chicken thing).
9) He is like the night stalker. He silently floats along and can disappear without a trace. Helpful when it comes to causing ruckus. He comes out at night, like a vampire. Except he causes ruckus instead of biting the necks of ripe kids. (Well, I don't really know. Whatever makes him happy).
1) Thinks he knows everything about everything, when he sometimes doesn't.
2) Called Magger or Grigg.(As you can see, he mags).
3) Had a pretty minging girlfriend, but he was ashamed of it so that is partly ecuseable. (She is Vvvvv-ooogguuueeee!!!!!!) They didn't kiss for about a month, but just held hands untill she was ready to be kissed for maybe the first time.
4) Mags
5) But he can be quite a decent bloke at times, when he's not trying to impress by telling porkies.
1) Names: Paul (the loser monkey) Waters and Jade (I don't know her last name - and I don't care)
2) Paul is about 20-odd years old, owns no qualifications (not even 11+ SAT's) and lives in some scabby council house in Grampound with broken kids toys and a motorbike up on bricks in the "garden".
3) Jade is a skanky, minging 13 year old slag from St Austell with no tits and an under-developed pre-pubescent body (skinny & flat).
4) Paul is so sad he can only pull & shag Jade (equally as sad) even though he's twice her age.
5) Paul Waters = the biggest monkey I have the misfortune to know. He rekons he's really hard by saying he wants to beat up Hal (10 years younger). Sad bastard. The thing is, no-one could hate Hal, because he's so easy-going and never, ever causes trouble (especially with monkeys like Paul).
6) Constantly rides his shitty fucking motorbike up and down the village. Why? He's sad. And a monkey.
7) Sad, paedophilic loser who can't get laid with fit girls of his own age, so he robs the 2nd year pupils of Penrice school (where Jade goes. And Ben, but he's a 5th year)
8) MMMONNNNKKKKEEEEYYYYYYSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
1) Georgey Porgey,
Puddington pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
Georgey Porgey ran away.
2) Well, George is about 22 and he is the local milkman for Grampound (where we all live), Gorran Haven (good for drugs) and some other places I can't remember as of yet. He enjoys a bit of a smoke, and it is handy that he lives in the flat above our house. He lives on his own there, but there is always enough people up there each day so he doesn't get lonely.
3) I would award him for being the most hard-working milkman I know (all the rounds in only 8 or 10 hours. Plus he runs everywhere.) He has also recently got his "Brown Wings", which has a v-funny story to it, although it is a bit v-ogue. Also, I would award him for having the crapest taste in home entertainment (he owns a Playstation!! Poor sad git)
1) Shags arse.
2) Eats dick.
3) Made a shite web site to try to take the piss out of this one. Sad fuck.
4) Goes to Truro college and is mates with Ben.
5) I don't really know him, but this is just payback for him being so V-OGUE!